Turning 40

So, two days ago on 6/26 at 7:22 am, I welcomed the big "40". A new decade ahead while I close the chapter of my thirties, which was the best decade so far I might add. I finished my Master's that allows me to do the work I love, married the man God hand picked for me, began working through my "crap", welcomed my three beautiful kids from other parts of the world, loved hard, and played hard. I've had a lot of time to reflect on this milestone. A few months ago, I wasn't sure how I would feel but as it got closer, it just started to feel more right, ok even. My girlfriends and I have been talking about how we would like to enter into and move through this decade graciously. Day 2....so far, so good! It is, however, hard for me to believe that I am 40. I still feel like I'm in my very early 30's. Having young children contributes to this I'm sure. I definitely don't feel "old" by any means. Of course, I am feeling the age of my body like most and my friend Monica and I have noticed how the skin on our hands isn't as elastic and tight as it once was. Eye make-up just doesn't go on quite the same these days and in the last year or so I've bought those fancy reading glasses from the local Walgreens for $14.99. What can you do really? It is what it is.

But life is full. I feel good about where I'm at in regards to most areas. Oh, there's always room for improvement but I'm ok with who I am. I think that women begin to really come into themselves in their late 30's and early 40's. I've done a lot of my own work in counseling over the years and have learned to accept the parts of me that brought me shame in previous phases of my life and have allowed myself to be vulnerable with others in a way that has led me to greater freedom and feeling truly loved. I hope that I am beginning to learn what is really important while being here on this side of heaven. My kids keep me honest by offering reflections of myself, some beautiful, some down right ugly. So you take the ugly parts to the cross and try again tomorrow.

I've learned to not be so hard on myself, to laugh, to be ok when relationships are messy, to be picky with my time, to trust God more and rely on myself less, that marker on your child's "way over-priced but had to have the perfect dresser" is not the end of the world, to embrace my insecurities (we all have them), to work hard at my marriage, and that its ok if people see my incompetence.

So there you have it......reflections of a newly turned 40 year old "girl". Check back in 10 years....