Jon and Kate......Men and Women

Ok, so I will admit to referring to them as if they were personal friends of mine and will also admit that I have been anticipating the season premiere with mixed feelings. I just got done watching it with my girlfriends. Now most woman I talk to seem to either love Kate or hate her. I really like her because I can relate to her, her sinful desire for control, as well as her independence that may have once been her survival but is now isolating and lonely. I like Jon. I like their marriage, including all the parts that are ugly, because it is so classic of every marriage I encounter in therapy. It is classic of my own marriage....my desire for control especially when feeling insecure, and Matt's tendency towards passivity. This is the core struggle for any marriage....a women's proclivity towards control and a man's towards passivity or taking the road less traveled when feeling inadequate. Most women hate to be told we are controlling and it brings upon us much shame. It is our response to being hurt or feeling afraid. Similarly, when men feel inadequate, they pull back, go within, avoid. It takes tremendous courage for men to step up the plate and follow the call given to them by God to lead even when they don't know how. For women, it feels very risky to get off the field, let him lead, and give up the control that makes us feel so in charge and safe. But the reality is is that it feels good to be lead, to be cared for in this way, to be ushered.....like the way it feels when your husband places his hand on the small of your back and guides you in and out of places, a strong but gentle leading.

I wasn't sure where this was going when I began processing on here but here it is. My favorite kind of therapy to do is marital therapy. It doesn't always have a high success rate but I believe it is the most intimate relationship we have outside of our relationship with God and I love to see couples who are willing to risk their hearts to deepen their intimacy. I always say that a good woman will follow a good man. That's just God's design. May you have the courage to offer your vulnerability in such a way that brings greater intimacy and connection to your relationship.....

Beach Bums.......

A few weeks ago we were in Jacksonville visiting my family. My parents, and my brother and sister-in-law live there. We spent the afternoon at Hugenot Memorial Park which sits on the coast. Beach photos are some of my favorites. I spend most of my time with my camera in hand trying to get the good shot. The kids love the beach and this was Mason's first visit. Last year, we treated ourselves to a month at Cocoa Beach in a condo there. We just commuted into work which wasn't too bad. That was quite a treat for us and created memories of a lifetime. Anyway, these are some of my favorites from this day.......


Trying out my black and white feature on my camera

Just the day before, Mackenzie had picked out this bathing suit....one with purple monkeys and a leopard print skirt to match!

One of fun things about Florida....its a treat to find a whole, unbroken sand dollar.

That's my brother, Tim, in the background

Mason got braver and braver in approaching the water

Madalyn searching for tiny little clam like shells

We're heading back there for Memorial Day...stay tuned.

Crafty Kids.......

Matt was out of town this weekend on his annual "guys only" camping trip. I survived my first weekend alone with all three of my bugs. By Saturday night, I was a little stir crazy so off we went to "Denny's Kids eat free Saturday nights" where you get two kids entrees with each paying adult........who can beat that? We played hookie from church since we aren't yet leaving Mason in children's church and one of us usually sits in the lobby with him. So we did craft time instead. There is a website at www.dltk-kids.com with lots of crafty ideas that I use a lot. The crafts are fairly easy and they range from simple coloring pages to more elaborate things like cross stitch patterns. Well here are the results........


Madalyn slightly irritated I have interrupted...


Mason entertained himself with a crumpled up piece of paper and a blue chip clip....

Proud of their masterpieces.........